Transformers: The Last Knight owes fealty to every major blockbuster in recent history

CONTAINS SPOILERS

A barbarian horde swarms across a green-gray hillscape, their cries rending the air.

The earth is torn beneath their feet and the hooves of horses.

Sword meets sword; shield, shield.

Balls of fire envelop the unfortunate and unwary.

A small band in steel breastplates prepare to renew the charge against overwhelming odds.…

CINEMATIC GRAB-BAG: A Cure For Wellness & Patriots Day

A Cure For Wellness

A Cure For Wellness is a film I wish was better.

A psychological horror with grandiose ambitions, it stars Dane DeHaan as Lockhart, a callow young stockbroker with ice-chip eyes dispatched to retrieve his company’s CEO from a remote “wellness center” in the Swiss Alps.…

Michael Bay’s Pain & Gain might actually be worth the effort of watching…

Before we see anything, before even the whirling stars of the Paramount logo form their triumphant arc above the idealized mountain peak, we hear the agonized grunts and yells of a man indulging in brutal self-abuse.

Then comes the money shot: Mark Wahlberg doing full-body sit-ups from a leg rest halfway up a twenty-foot billboard of an Atlas-like figure pumping iron.…

2 Guns is a throwaway summer fling of reputable caliber

Denzel Washington and Mark Walhberg banter with friendly acrimony, speed around in a variety of cars, and generally blow shit up. If you like the sound of that, you’ll probably get on with 2 Guns.

Washington is winningly cool as Bobby Trench, Wahlberg likeably guileless as Michael Stigman – two law enforcement officers who end up undercover and unaware of the other’s background – the type of character types both actors have built careers around playing.…