Transformers: The Last Knight owes fealty to every major blockbuster in recent history

CONTAINS SPOILERS

2.5 Stars (2.5 / 5)
A barbarian horde swarms across a green-gray hillscape, their cries rending the air.

The earth is torn beneath their feet and the hooves of horses.

Sword meets sword; shield, shield.

Balls of fire envelop the unfortunate and unwary.…

Michael Bay’s Pain & Gain might actually be worth the effort of watching…

3 Stars (3 / 5)

Before we see anything, before even the whirling stars of the Paramount logo form their triumphant arc above the idealized mountain peak, we hear the agonized grunts and yells of a man indulging in brutal self-abuse.

Then comes the money shot: Mark Wahlberg doing full-body sit-ups fromĀ a leg rest halfway up a twenty-foot billboard of an Atlas-like figure pumping iron.…