Spouses Carolyn and Jonathan (real-life married couple Amber Tamblyn and David Cross) argue about everything. The only thing they do agree on is that their longtime therapist, Don (Tobias Menzies), looks tired.
The issue of honesty is at the heart of You Hurt My Feelings, Nicole Holofcener’s casually incisive dramedy that poses the question, when does being supportive become lying?
Beth (Julia Louis-Dreyfus) is a creative writing tutor working on her second novel. The first, a biographical account of the verbal abuse she suffered from her father, was a minor success. Her follow-up, a murder mystery, is providing difficult, though Don is on hand to act as cheerleader – albeit a somewhat world-weary one.
Out shopping with her sister, interior decorator Sarah (Michaela Watkins), Beth overhears Don talking to brother-in-law, jobbing actor Mark (Arian Moayed). Turns out, Don doesn’t like her new book. The revelation sends Beth into a tailspin, undermining the foundation of trust and affection on which their marriage is built.
All of Holofcener’s characters here are defined, in different ways, by their professions. Beth and Don’s son Eliot (Owen Teague) works in a legal cannabis shop, much to his mother’s chagrin, and has aspirations of being a playwright. Beth assures him that he’s talented, that his writing will be great, but is that anything more than wishful thinking?
Don’s patients don’t regard him, and indeed his efforts do seem lackluster. Sarah spends her days speculatively shopping for rich people who don’t know what they want. Mark’s only significant acting credit seems to have been on a “pumpkin movie” a decade before. They all support each other in their endeavors, and none are lying, exactly, but none are telling the truth.
The stakes are apparently low – apart from the homeless shelter where Beth and Sarah volunteer, the cast is composed largely of middle-class Upper West Siders – but there’s surprising emotional import. Examining his eye-bags in a mirror, Don comments, “I was young and hot”. Beth’s response, “Well, you’re still younger than me”, is clearly not what he needs to hear.
Some times we need to be lied to and some times honesty is the best policy. You Hurt My Feelings shows how difficult it can be to negotiate the two and the rewarding opportunities for comedy and drama that lie there.
You Hurt My Feelings is streaming on Prime Video from August 5th, 2023
